It’s been a while since I’ve seen a horror film in theaters, so I took a friend of mine to a free showing of the 2011 film “You’re Next,” at the Century Theater in Downtown Plaza.
The beginning of the film was your stereotypical horror film that involved loud music, sexual scenes, and a supposed hot chick walking around her boyfriend’s house naked, completely oblivious to her surroundings. She had no idea that she was about to die and deep down I knew it. The naked chick almost always dies in these sorts of films.
The music began to change and the mood in the theater became serious as movie-goers quietly anticipated what was going to happen next. I quietly whispered to my friend, “She’s going to die,” and sure enough she did. Meanwhile her boyfriend was upstairs taking a shower while all of this was going on, only to come downstairs to find the words “You’re Next,”( in watered down red cake gel) or what seemed to be blood, smeared across his sliding glass door, and his girlfriend outside in a puddle of her own blood. He never got the chance to react because a tall man with a white sheep mask killed him.
The remainder of the film took place across the street at a dysfunctional rich family’s home. A reunion that was supposed to be a celebration of Aubrey and Paul’s 35-year anniversary, turned horribly wrong rather quickly. The family of six would have never predicted that they weren’t going to make it out alive. Between the poor acting, the horrible portrayal of a pill popping family, the crossbow and machete slaying, I found myself caught off guard a few times due to people popping out of nowhere with sheep, tiger and wolf masks.
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Meanwhile when one brave family member, Crispian, decided to take off into the night to “get help for his family,” at one point I figured “He’s a dead man!” or so I thought. Crispian’s oh-so-loving girlfriend Erin went into survival mode and tended to everyone or at least what was left of the chaos.
I won’t tell you who the killers are, but I will give you a hint. Don’t lose track of all of the characters in the chaos.
One genuine thing that I did like about the film was not all of it was predictable. I enjoyed Erin the most because of her strength and need to stay calm. Her father made a survivor’s compound when she was a child and forced her to fend for herself which was the sole reason she was the only survivor in her boyfriend’s family. The ending was not at all what I expected. The entire time I was wondering what happened to Crispian because there was too much going on that I forgot about him for a while until his brother Felix’s phone rang and his voice appeared over the speakers.
When the movie ended, I clapped for Erin because she was the only one who made any sense throughout the entire film and the only one I didn’t want to strangle. I’m glad that this film was free and I didn’t waste my money on it because it was a low budget film and last time I checked, blood isn’t glossy or reddish orange. To me it was more frustrating to watch than it was scary.
