The history of Valentine’s Day is about as boring as listening to your friend tell you what he got from his significant other as a gift on Valentine’s Day.
In a nutshell, of the three possible saints for whom the day could be named, the popular conception is that it’s a remembrance of a priest who defied an emperor and performed marriage ceremonies for young men and women around the third century.
You’re officially up to speed.
Now that the formalities are over with, I’ll jump right to my premise: Valentine’s Day is for saps.
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“Happy Valentine’s Day, honey. Here are some words someone else wrote and a big, heart-shaped box full of dark chocolate ’make me fat’ pills.”
Nowadays you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who could tell you about the origins of this celebration of love. Most people associate Valentine’s Day with a bow-and-arrow-wielding nude infant and increased odds of receiving oral sex.
I’m not claiming that we should hold the true story in sacred reverence, but let’s also not let marketers and ad agencies prey on our desire to love and be loved in return. Candies, greeting cards, diamond rings, etc. are all superfluous nonsense.
If you could get an honest opinion from your significant other, which do you think they’d prefer? That you treat them kindly, respectfully, and with unmatched amounts of affection 365 days of every year? Or that once a year in February you take them to the Olive Garden and hand them a teddy bear holding a heart?
