The year 2024 hurt me in ways I wish I never had to experience. After losing my little brother in an incident that changed me in a way that I wish would never happen to anyone, I promised myself that 2025 would be the start of my life becoming better.
I didn’t expect a dramatic change or for everything to suddenly fix itself, but I needed a year where I chose to focus on healing — even if it was messy, slow or uncomfortable. What I didn’t expect was how much 2025 would challenge me, shape me and slowly rebuild parts of me I thought I lost forever.
This year tested me, pushed me and transformed me. It wasn’t gentle, from grieving my brother to school demands and home responsibilities, but it became one of the most defining years of my life. It showed me my strength, but it also showed me that healing isn’t something you do alone.
One of the biggest moments was going to my first rap competition as a musician in Oakland in March. I took Amtrak early in the morning to make it to the event, performed and stepped into a space I had only imagined myself being in, hearing how other artists represent themselves.
After the competition, instead of going straight home, I decided to stay overnight in a hotel room by myself. That moment, being alone in a city I visited for many years, but being the first time to experience the inner parts of the city after doing something bold, reminded me that I’m capable of doing things independently, even when fear tries to hold me back.
This year also came with major academic steps. I completed my first year at Sacramento City College and entered my sophomore year, which I’m genuinely proud of. Balancing school with everything happening in my personal life wasn’t easy, but I kept going.
By the end of my first year, I started realizing I wanted more for myself. Instead of stopping at my associate’s degree, I decided to pursue my bachelor’s degree at Sacramento State this fall. That decision felt like I was finally choosing my future with intention, not just doing the minimum, but building toward something meaningful.
Another big milestone was getting my driver’s license in February. It might seem small to some, but for me, it was a major emotional step. Grief had held me back from a lot of things, and driving was one of them. Finally achieving that showed me that healing happens slowly, and sometimes in the quietest accomplishments.
But I also don’t want to act like I did everything alone or that I was isolated all year. This year, I showed up for my community, and my community showed up for me. Through my job, I worked at community events that made me feel connected and grounded. I made time to hang out with my best friends, and we took small trips that reminded me what it feels like to simply enjoy life without overthinking everything. Those moments, laughing, exploring, making memories, balanced the weight I carried behind the scenes.
My relationship also played a big part in my growth this year. Me and my partner took a step back, reflected, and started working on ourselves in order to build something healthier together. It wasn’t easy, but we’ve been improving our relationship and learning how to communicate, understand and support each other in ways we didn’t before. Healing together has been one of the most meaningful parts of my year, even though we sometimes can’t stand each other.
On top of that, I’ve been healing with my family as we continue to navigate the ongoing court case involving the people connected to my brother’s tragic passing. Watching that case move forward and seeing progress, even if slow, has helped us breathe a little easier. It gave us a sense that justice is not forgotten.
And something I’m truly proud of is that I began attending a men’s support group twice a month, taking my first steps toward therapy and emotional healing. Walking into that space, being honest, listening to others and allowing myself to feel instead of shutting down, all of it helped me grow more than I expected. Those meetings helped me understand that healing isn’t weakness, and that talking about what I’ve been carrying can actually make me stronger.
Looking back, 2025 wasn’t smooth or easy, but it was powerful. I advanced in school, pushed myself creatively, took risks, connected deeper with the people I love, and finally started healing in ways I used to avoid. I traveled, performed and learned a few things as an individual. I also loved, laughed, grew and leaned on my community when I needed it most.
After everything 2024 took from me, this year reminded me that I’m still becoming, still learning, still fighting and still stepping into the version of myself I always hoped I could be. And even though I’m not done growing, I’m proud of the progress I made. I’m in great hopes that 2026 will become even better.
