Dimmed lights, seesaw sounds, soft moans and heavy breathing while glancing at each other’s eyes once in a while. Another disappointing night, there in a bed lays my friend Holly wishing it would just stop already.
After realizing once again that what she wants won’t be coming, she reconciles with the performance she’ll have to act out once again. routinely she arches her back, closes her eyes and let the “oh” from the shape of her lips and escape her mouth.
The guy on top feels proud with what he accomplished and then makes his final performance of the night. Silence falls and while he stares at the ceiling with a grin, she stares at it with dissatisfaction.
Men and women don’t always know what they’re doing when it comes to sex, in particularly college students, but without communication in the bedroom women continue feeling disappointed and unsatisfied night after night while men have no idea how their partner feels.
When asked in a survey I conducted if they’ve ever faked an orgasm, nine ofut of 10 random City College women said they have and they all said their partners could never tell.
“A lot of women say that they don’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings, that they feel like he’ll be disappointed or maybe get angry with her, kind of like, ‘Well what’s wrong with you? Any woman I’ve been with would have had an orgasm by now,'” says City college psychology professor Robert Ackley who teaches Human Sexuality and Love and Intimacy.
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“When it comes to sex, many of us assume that we know what our partner wants, or we clam up instead of giving feedback,” says the sex book “Guide to Getting it On.”
“The truth of the matter is that many couples don’t know how to talk to each other about sex,” says Ackley.
“Most of us don’t communicate very well about sex,” Ackley says.
Learning how to talk to each other is what men and women need to learn how to do. Partners need to learn to communicate and be comfortable to get to know each other physically.
It all comes down to communication between two people. Sex should be satisfying to both partners and when reaching climax, neither partner should be faking it. Take time to discuss what you like and what you don’t, what gets you going and what just doesn’t-this way college men could say they performed well this semester.
